Then, I noticed that all of the effected VMs were being hosted by my HOST3 server.  I started a continuous ping to one of the VMs, and then VMotion’ed the VM from HOST3 to HOST4.  As soon as the VM finished transferring to HOST4, the pings picked up and it was accessible once more.  So I’m inclined to believe that this is an issue with one of the physical NICs that’s reporting itself in a false-positive state.

Now all of the VMs in my cluster are running off of the same vNetwork Distributed Switch, and each Host has 2 physical network connections dedicated to this vSwitch… which are on different physical cards.  So which physical NIC in HOST3 could be at fault?  How exactly do you figure out which NIC your VM is communicating across?

Well… finding this out is easier than you’d think.

• Open up your favorite emulator, and SSH into your Host.
• Then, run the ESXTOP command, and then press “n” to switch it to the Networking Usage display.

What you’re presented with will be a list that includes every VM that is running on your Host server, and the currently associated “vmnic” number.  (In my case, vmnic1 is the culprit.)

Then, pull up your VI client and select the Host in question.  Go to the Configuration tab, and select Network Adapters.  The displayed “vmnic” list is grouped together by the physical card that each port is on.  As you can see by the image, vmnic1 is the 2nd port on the integrated NC375i network adapter.

Guess it’s time to call HP.

Not able to connect to host <SERVER.DOMAIN.COM>.  SSL certificate verification failed.

EMC support had the answer…

The ESXi 4.1 installation will build a new Host with the default name of “localhost.localdomain”… and generate the SSL certificate for the Host before you can rename it.  So after you rename the Host and then use ECC to discover <SERVER.DOMAIN.COM>, it immediately recognizes that the SSL certification is not valid.

After you rename the Host, you’re going to need to recreate the SSL certificate.  We were instructed to do so as follows:

• Connect your VI client to your vCenter Server.
• Put the ESXi Host into Maintenance Mode.
• Access either the Local or Remote Technical Support Mode console.
• Run the following command to recreate the SSL certificate:

  /sbin/generate-certificates.sh
  

• Reboot the ESXi Host.

Once the Host comes back online, it will not reconnect with your vCenter Server, so you’ll need to re-authenticate with the Host’s ROOT account.

• Right-click the ESXi host in teh VI client, and click “Connect”.
• When prompted, re-enter the ESXi Host’s ROOT credentials.

Then, point your web browser at the ESXi host.  When you see the Security Warning, click [View Certificate].  Confirm that the Certification Path is pointing to <SERVER.DOMAIN.COM>.

Finally, go attempt to re-discover the ESXi host with the EMC Control Center.

This news explained so many things.  Not only could I barely find any consistency with how the site’s servers were deployed, but I found each rack to be more annoying than the last because all of the physical cabling had been deployed using the spaghetti-method of cable management.  Since I actually found it embarrassing to claim that I managed such a mess, I made the decision that *I* was going to dictate a new set of deployment standards for all servers, racks, etc.

I spent the first couple months re-running every piece of cabling I could find.  Then, over the following year; I documented guidelines on hardware standards, OS deployment consistencies, tape backup expectations, and disaster recovery procedures.  After about a year or so, I considered the data center at our site to be MINE.  I owned it because I’d paid for it with blood, sweat, and the occasional pound of flesh.  Then, for the next 2+ years, I was very pleased to let others work and play in my data center provided that they follow my deployment guidelines.  It was a good system and absolutely no one objected… until the reorganization.

With very little prelude, my site was transferred from one organization to another within our corporation in late 2007.  I suddenly found myself working under a huge collection of people who all seemed to think that they were my boss.

Before you start to think I have a big ego at work here, please let me clarify… I have always strongly believed in the chain of command.  Orders should filter down.  Things stay much more organized that way.

However, I suddenly found my phone ringing off the hook because there were about 20 different people (from a huge array of different time zones) who were all trying to dictate policy and procedure to me directly.  My direct IT Manager, Todd, was trying to shield me from these folks and I honor him for it… but he could only do so much.  Needless to say, it was a huge headache for both Todd and myself.

Under the new organization, the first thing we did was change physical sites.  A new building was selected and a new data center was custom built for the purpose.  Unfortunately, it seemed to me that the data center was the very LAST thing that was given consideration by those making the decisions.  The available floor space was cut to one-third of our original size (which made fitting all of the existing servers into a much smaller room an interesting puzzle).  There was next to zero air flow through the room because all ventilation came through a single hole in the wall (so we had a huge fan sitting nearby that we had to break out about once a week).  Honestly, I think someone had gone out and bought a book called something like “Building a new Data Center… on the Cheap… for Dummies”… and then used that to calculate the ultimate costs required… and then cut that value in half.  The entire process was very painful.

However, it wasn’t all bad.  We got a whole new network infrastructure out of the deal.  We got brand new routers and switches, slick new firewalls, and really nifty packet shaper devices… all of which were put under my management.  I learned lots of new things during that time, and was sent out to some really interesting training courses.  I learned a lot, and had fun playing with all the new toys.

Once we were in the new building and officially “settled in”, the next migration began almost immediately.  We were ordered to migrate all of our servers, workstations, and users to our new organization’s domain… and to deploy all of these servers using their pre-defined set of standards.  No problem!  I love it when an organization has actual defined standards, and I was more than pleased to become known as a team-player for my new team.  I reviewed all of the steps and requirements that they wanted completed, calculated how long I thought it would take to complete all of the tasks, and sent a response which detailed what I’d believed to be a reasonable timeline covering a 9-month period to completion.  That’s when the sh|t hit the fan.

I suddenly found myself on the receiving end of an IT conference call enema.  Five different “senior” Engineers had a meeting about my site… who then decided that I needed to be conferenced into it blind.  For about an hour, I was lectured to and talked over by people whom I didn’t even know, but who apparently thought that it was their job to tell me how to do my job.  Then, I was informed that I had a little under 2 weeks to get all the necessary work done.

I found this to be completely unreasonable and told them so.  They insisted that I had no choice, and I insisted that we needed to discuss the situation with my manager on the line.  My concerns were immediately dismissed.  Finally, I simply asked them to put their preferred timeline into an email… (ALWAYS GET IT IN WRITING!!)… so that I could have something to send to my direct manager.  I was told that no further discussion was necessary and to stop wasting time.  Finally fed up, I instructed them to put it in writing to me… and then hung up on them.

They wanted a complete overhaul of our data center completed in 2 weeks?  Why so little time?  How could they expect me to do so much in so little time?

Well… I eventually found out why they thought it was plausible.  See… the bulk of our new organization’s data centers were located in Mumbai and Bangalore.  It was explained to me that the average annual Systems Engineer salary in India is about 100,000 Rs (Rupees).  This sounds like a lot of money, until you convert it to US dollars… which is something close to $2,250.

If the India sites needed extra hands to get a project completed in a hurry, then they’d simply send out for more personnel… and it would get done fast and cheap.  So they probably thought that we’d just do the same thing.  It wasn’t until much later that someone finally realized that we did not have the ability to pull in tons of extra people without seriously dipping into our budget.

So anyway… for the next 2 days, I refused to answer any phone calls (except those from my wife).  They even tried calling the other folks on my team to recruit them into cornering me, but I’d already warned them that I wasn’t taking any calls…and instructed them to tell anyone who called for me to send an email and I’d get back to them.  They finally caved and wrote out what they wanted me to do in an email which I promptly forwarded to my manager.  With this documented timeline, Todd and I were finally able to start a dialog with the executive-types in which we detailed why things would take longer to finish.

About a week later, we were paid a visit by one of the Senior Engineers who wanted to “negotiate” our 9-month timeline versus the 2-week timeline.  Todd and I spent 2 long days in a conference room with this gentleman, scribbling on a large wipe-board and debating how long things should actually take to complete.

At the end of the 2nd day, I thought he was more reasonable than the folks from India… but not by much.  I had conceded that I could probably get the work completed in as little as 6-months, assuming that I cut some corners and let some of my usual daily duties slide.  Senior-guy had decided that I was to be allowed 3-months to complete the necessary tasks… while doing my usual daily needful and managing a new network infrastructure that I was still learning about.  It was also decided that Francis, one of the desktop support guys, could be dedicated to help me during that time.  I did think well of Francis’ work, and knew that he would be willing and capable… but the time for this learning curve would be a hindrance as well.

So for another hour, we debated back and forth on the timeline… 6 months!  No, 3 months!  Can’t do it… I need 6 months minimum!  Nope, you’ve only got 3!  Back and forth.  Volley, volley!

Finally, feeling a bit slap-happy… a funny notion struck my brain and in my tired state I had thought teasing them a bit would be entertaining.  So in my tired, frustrated state… I walked over to the wipe-board where Senior-guy had detailed his 3-month strategy which detailed the migration steps from the end of January 2008 through April 2008.  I picked up a red dry erase marker, and inserted the following into his timeline:

February 1st – Update Resume

Well… Senior-guy didn’t find that very funny… and Todd’s eyes got really wide (probably because he knew me well… and suspected that I wasn’t kidding).  What can I say… I was tired of arguing with these people.  Maybe I was missing something… maybe they were.  Who knows!  I only knew that in a few short months, everything I’d worked for and done over the previous 4 years had been tossed aside… and I was being ordered around like a rookie or a servant.  So I made the decision to quietly start job hunting… while I started working towards trying to complete needed work within the 3-month timeline.

For the next 3+ months, I did what I could to push forward the migration.  I rebuilt servers, organized the user migration strategy, built new infrastructure services, etc… while hoping for a miracle to help us achieve our 3-month migration goal.  Meanwhile, each night I would spend an hour or two typing out cover letters for my resume to be mailed the following morning.

Needless to say, we did not meet our 3-month goal, but I tried my best.  And we still hadn’t finished everything when I finally left in the company in June.  I did feel a little bad about it, because my departure had forced Francis to become the new Server Engineer.  He had learned a lot during the previous 3 months, and I had faith in his abilities.  However, I suspect that the idea of being solely responsible for the servers might have scared him half to death… (but I’ll bet he learned more in that first month after I left than he had during the bulk of his career.)

It’s been nearly 3 years since I left that company… and I have to say that leaving was the *BEST* career move I ever made.  Not because I wanted to get out, but because I absolutely fell in love my new job.  I’m having a madding love affair with VMware.  I even convinced my management to pay for classes to help me get VCP4 certified!  Plus, I really like the people I work with and adore the really short commute from my house.  This is the best job I’ve ever had… and I sincerely hope I never stop doing it.

I configured another System DSN for Update Manager and proceeded to try that install on the same server.  Well… I hit a wall.  Stepping through the Update Manager installation, I eventually reached the “Database Options” screen where you select the appropriate System DSN.  The pull-down did not display the new System DSN as I’d expected, and any attempt to “force it” resulted in an error message that reads as:

The DSN, ‘<system dsn>’ does not exist or is not a 32-bit system DSN.  Update Manager requires a 32 bit system DSN.

WTF?  I knew that vCenter was going 64-bit… so I guess I just assumed that Update Manager was going 64-bit as well… but wait.  It did, didn’t it???

It seems that Update Manager is a 32-bit application that only works with Windows XP Pro SP2 64-bit, Windows 2003 SP1 64-bit, and Windows 2008 64-bit.  So it’s 32-bit software that will only work with a 64-bit operating system.  That sounds hinky… and obviously, I’m still missing something.

After much research, I finally came upon an article on sqlcoffee.com that provided the answer.  Apparently, when you’re using the default ODBC Data Source Administrator on a 64-bit OS, it will only create 64-bit DSNs.

So in order to create a 32-bit System DSN, you have to manually launch the 32-bit ODBC Administrator Tool, which is located at

%windir%\SysWOW64\odbcad32.exe

Once into it, I created the System DSN as usual… and the rest of the Update Manager installation went perfectly.

The only down side is… you can’t see the 32-bit DSNs from the 64-bit ODBC Admin Tool… and you can’t see the 64-bit DSNs from the 32-bit ODBC Admin Tool.  So you’ll just need to remember to check both.

I’m going to tell you about the VCB solution that we currently have in-place, and you’re more than welcome to adapt the following for use in your own environment.  However, please keep in mind the following two blurbs…

I do not write my solutions for the non-technical individuals.  I’m going to assume that you have a working knowledge of the products discussed, or at least have the ability to do a little skull-sweat to figure out the necessary details.  It would be impossible to design full-proof instructions that would accommodate everyone, so I do not attempt to do so.  However, I am always willing to take a  stab at answering any questions that someone might pose.

and

WARNING:  If anything goes wrong with your implementation of the following example, then I will not accept responsibility for any data loss that you may incur.  Use the following details at your own risk.

With that out of the way, let’s get started…

The Hardware

Before we get started, I’m going to assume that you already have a tape backup solution in-place, and that you can easily add another piece of hardware into that mix.  You’re going to need a destination to dump the VCB backups to, so build a new server and add it into your tape backup solution.

My opted for a physical server to dedicate to my VCB backups because I’m running shy on SAN space, and I do not wish to waste the SAN space on backups.  Unfortunately, this does mean that I’ll be performing my VCB dumps across the network… however, as I do them one-at-a-time, it won’t generate too much traffic.

For my environment, we have a HP ProLiant DL380 G6 with two disk arrays.  The first array is a mirrored pair of 72 GB drives for the storage of the system partition.  The second is a series of six 146 GB drives in a RAID 5 array, which is partitioned into a single volume to server as the destination for our VCB backups.  It is on this server that VMware VCB is actually installed as well (not on the vCenter server).

The Scripts

There are technically 2 scripts used in this solution.  The first that I will talk about is a VCB.VBS file that launches the VCB backups.  The other script is a LAUNCH.CMD file which calls the VBS script each day.  You’ll need to store both of these script files into the same folder on the server where you have VCB installed.

Before you begin editing the scripts to suit your environment, you’re going to need to gather the following information.

• The folder path to where the VCB executables were installed.
• The folder path to where your scripts are stored.
• The folder path to the target destination for the backup dumps.
• The Username and Password of a Service account that has access to both your vCenter server and the backup destination.
• The number of days you wish to store the VCB backups in the destination.
• If you desire to use email alerts to inform you of when your backups are completed, then you’ll also need a TO and FROM address to use… and the hostname to your local SMTP relay server.

You’ll be updating this information into the “Global Constants” section of the VBS script.  For your convenience, I’ve highlighted these points in BOLD GREEN in the script below.

The VCB.VBS script

In summary, this script acquires the vCenter and VM hostnames from command line arguments, purges any old backups from your destination server, references the vCenter, backups up the VM, and sends an email report.  (Additionally, if the “testing” Boolean variable is set to TRUE, then it will display various messages on the screen for testing / demo purposes.)

PHEW!!!  Well, that’s the first script.  Don’t worry though, the 2nd script isn’t quite that involved.

The LAUNCH.CMD Script

This is the script that you’ll be launching daily via your Scheduled Task Manager on your Windows server.  All this script does is… check to see what day of the month it is, and then call the VCB.VBS script as needed depending upon which day it is.

Note that the calling of the VCB.VBS requires that you append the vCenter server hostname and the VM name to be backed up to the end of the line.  This is to allow you to perform backups against multiple vCenter servers should you require to do so.  (Most folks will only have 1 vCenter server.  My environment has 4 separate vCenter servers… don’t ask.)

As this is going to be the biggest manual part of the solution, it will require some occasional updating on your part.  I recommend that you review which VMs you desire to backup at least once a month, and update the LAUNCH.CMD script accordingly.

Please note that backups are only performed on days 1 thru 28 of each month.  As days 29, 30, and 31 are NOT necessarily going to occur each month.

After the installation, you add a new VMDK disk that will be used for the deduplicated backups.  When we created it, it was limited to 256gb, which was half of what we wanted.  The fix for this is to delete the VMDK, and then delete the data store itself, it was created with a too small block size.  Hopefully you don’t have one large data store for everything, since it will all be lost if you do.  So when you recreate the data store, select the largest block size, and it will let you have VMDKs for the backup up to 2 terabytes.

Next, we ran backups on all our virtuals.  Every single one worked great, but for one particular virtual.  We were able to backup and restore both entire Windows or Linux VMs, and also restore any particular file or files in both guest operating systems.  The Data Recovery tool simply worked great.

Except for the one system.  It was a Windows 2008 32-bit Server running SQL Server 2008.  It hosted the vSphere database among others and was fairy active.  But it just wouldn’t let you back it up with VMDR.

Here’s the error message you’d see in the console:

Creating a quiesced snapshot failed because the created snapshot operation exceeded the time limit for holding off I/O in the frozen virtual machine.

OK, lots of folks with the problem.   Quiescing means having the OS tell all the apps running on it to stop writing to disk for a minute, so the Windows Shadow Copy process can make an image of what is on the disk.

Lot’s of potential fixes.  First step, reinstall VMware tools in the virtual.  That didn’t work for me.  Then, some folks have reported success deleting a registry key and rebooting.  Didn’t work for me either.  Whole bunch of stuff about making sure the right services are stopped and started.

The key to the issue I was having is that I could take a typical snapshot of the virtual just fine.  It’s just when DR tries to do it that it fails.  This led me to believe the issue was outside of the virtual itself, that all the mucking around with the OS wouldn’t work.

The fix that ended up working was the one that shouldn’t have applied.  It specified that it’s only for AD servers running on Win2k8 R2.  But it worked for my issue, and now my server works fine.

1. Right click the Windows 2008 virtual machine having the problem, and power it off.
2. Right click the virtual machine, and click Edit Settings.
3. Click the Options tab, and select the General entry in the settings column.
4. Click Configuration Parameters… The Configuration Parameters window appears.
5. In the Name column, enter disk.EnableUUID.
6. In the Value column, enter FALSE.
7. Click OK and click Save.
8. Power on the virtual machine.

Which of the Doctor Who companions do you like the best?

Well… this grand question was demanding to be answered!  So I put together a Top 10 list of my personal favorites.  Please, read on…

#10:  Victoria Waterfield Yes, I know… Victoria may have started off as a fragile 19th-century girl who does her fair share of screaming, but she’s definitely got a strength about her that the Doctor allows her to bring out. Sadly, I’ve only ever had the pleasure of seeing this companion in “The Tomb of the Cybermen” story (a personal favorite!).  Most of what I know about Victoria has come from reading a few of the story novelizations, since many episodes from this era have been lost.

#9:  Romana Since they’re technically the same character, I have to lump both incarnations of Romana together; but that’s OK because it’s hard to decide on which one I liked more! When she first joined the Doctor, she was somewhat arrogant to him, and kept hitting him with rather cutting remarks.  To me, this made Romana I a rather intriguing character. Then, since she was a Time Lady from Gallifrey, she could regenerate herself into a new body (yes… every man’s secret dream girl).  And so enters Romana II.  She had a much closer relationship with the Doctor, but I thought that this made her a bit less interesting.  However, Romana II did have some moments where she had the advantage and would out-shine the Doctor intellectually.

#8:  Jack Harkness What’s not to enjoy about a fun-loving, bold-as-brass immortal time-traveler and former con man from the 51st century?  Jack was an awesome character in the beginning… and he probably would have probably had a higher ranking on this list if it weren’t for the “Torchwood” series. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed “Torchwood”.  It was a fun ride.  However, as the series progressed, more and more details were revealed about Jack’s past that started to make him a much less likeable character.  Yes, for this list I should probably only gauge him using the events of his time with the Doctor, but it’s hard to gauge the character without using all the known information.

#7:  Leela Yes, I know that Leela was originally designed to be an unsophisticated “Eliza Doolittle” type character for the Doctor to gentle and enlighten, but I thought she was perfect just the way she was!  Let’s face it… Louise Jameson was just dead sexy as the knife-wielding tough-as-nails savage warrior woman in a tight, short leather dress!  There’s absolutely no reason for her to change …and God help the man who tries.

#6:  Amy Pond This wild ginger-haired beauty has certainly captured my attention… but what I love most about her is the in-charge attitude she adopts when she’s not getting the answers she wants (such as trapping the Doctor’s necktie in a car door to make him stop long enough to talk to her properly). Although… I’m not too found of how much the Doctor has inadvertently integrated himself into Amy’s entire life history as her “Raggedy Doctor”.  Amy is a really fun character, and I wouldn’t change her.  However, I find myself feeling sad for her fiancé… as she has spent most of her life developing this romanticized idea of the Doctor that Rory will never be able to compete with.

#5:  K-9 If you’re not aware of it, K-9 is a robot dog with an immeasurable artificial intelligence.  In truth, the robot’s friendly demeanor, short stature, and high voice were designed to endear him to children… but we adults like him too! There have been four separate K-9 units throughout the years.  The Mark I model was left with Leela when she left to stay on Gallifrey.  The Mark II unit was left in the parallel universe of E-Space as a companion for the departing Romana II.  The Mark III was sent to Sarah Jane Smith; supposedly to guide and protect her during the adventures that the Doctor knew she’d be having.  And then years later, they were briefly reunited with the Doctor, but the Mark III was destroyed soon after.  Before his departure, the Doctor left Sarah Jane the Mark IV unit to continue to help in her future endeavors.

#4:  Sarah Jane Smith Sarah Jane is a long-time favorite.  Lots of folks really like her for her tenure alongside of Tom Baker, but I always liked her because she’s “one tough bird”.  She’s a smart, sexy, independent woman who speaks her mind and kicks tail when it’s necessary.  I couldn’t be more pleased that the “Sarah Jane Adventures” have continued the stories for this iconic character.

#3:  Rose Tyler I’ll admit that I wasn’t expecting much from Billie Piper when the series revival first started, but she was brilliant!  I have to give kudos to the writers who gave her great material to work with, because I was sold on Rose from the first episode.  As she transitioned from Doctor #9 to Doctor #10, I even signed off on the blossoming Doctor/Rose relationship… and found myself heartbroken when they were forever separated in the “Doomsday” episode.  Rose gets high billing in my book, because of the emotional rollercoaster I took throughout her story… and that doesn’t happen to me very often.

#2:  Donna Noble I loved Donna Noble because she returned Doctor Who to it’s original formula.  There wasn’t any need for exploring romantic feelings between her and the Doctor; because she just wasn’t interested in him in that way.  They were pals… nothing more.  And their platonic relationship allowed the show to bring back the old school fun! When she was transformed into the “Doctor-Donna”, I was so excited at the possibilities!  The idea of having a human transform into a Time Lord was very intriguing… but then the writers lost their nerve, and wrote in a forced memory wipe because her mind couldn’t handle that level of knowledge.  Personally, I think it would have been just as easy for her to “evolve” and take off for parts unknown.  At least that way, there’d always be the possibility for her story to continue.

#1:  Ace! I absolutely adore everything about Dorothy “Ace” Gale McShane.  I admire her satin bomber jacket – covered in badges.  I like her rucksack that seems to hold nearly anything that’s needed; including many tins of Nitro-9 explosive!  I’m crazy for her slang, and that she seems to insist upon addressing the Doctor with the nickname “Professor”.  I respect the passionate loyalty with which she defends her friends.  I admire how behind her rough demeanor is a confident young woman with a brilliant mind. Put simply… I love Ace!  Always have… always will. Recently, there was a mention thrown out in an episode of “The Sarah Jane Adventures” that stated… “Oh, and there’s a Dorothy something. She runs that company, A Charitable Earth (ACE). She’s raised billions.”  I’m not ashamed to say that this mention has planted me firmly on the edge of my seat in eager anticipation of the return of Ace!  I’d love for her to be written back into the Whoniverse in some way.  (Although, I have been wishing the she would return in some epic capacity… like as the commander of the missing Torchwood 4 facility!)

Well… perception is reality.  So for those “child-free” folks out there who just don’t seem to understand why your friend who just had a kid has suddenly disappear from their social lives… here’s the scoop from someone who’s gone through it.

The Stay-at-Home Parent

When you are the at-home parent, you’re entire day is dedicated to that child.  Your only alone time is probably the few minutes you get to down a cup of coffee before the kid wakes up.  Once the child is awake, you’re going to have to feed, clean, dress, teach, and entertain that child every waking moment of the day.

You don’t get free time for yourself, because you’re too busy watching that baby.  Don’t ever tell an at-home parent that they’re “lucky because they can sit around and watch TV all day”, because they’ll probably strike you.  TV is something you get to do for a few brief minutes while feeding the kid a bottle.  You don’t get the luxury of watching a TV show, because you won’t get to watch the entire thing before you’re right back to something else.  That’s why most parents tend to tune in News channels or perhaps a mindless Game show.

And Lord help you if you run out of something because that just complicates everything to no end.  You can’t just “run out” to the store.  Going anywhere with a child requires serious tactics and planning.  You’ve got to get yourself ready to go, and the child, get them into the car seat, etc… plus, what about extra just-in-case gear?  You’ll need a few toys to distract the child in the store.  What about if the kid needs a new diaper while you’re out… so you’ll need some of those.  And what happens if you break down on the road?  Yes, you’ll need your mobile phone… but what about the baby?!  So now you need to pack bottles to feed the child until you can get home.

I won’t even bother to detail how lovely you probably look and smell because you’ve been alone with the child for the last 4 days without help or relief… collapsing in exhaustion whenever the child sleeps… and haven’t found the opportunity to bathe in all that time.

Sounds disgusting, right?  And you’re thinking… how could anyone let that happen?  Well… it does.  As I said, you don’t have the luxury of time for yourself.

The Working Parent

Now I can relate more to the role of the working parent than the above alternate, but don’t think that I’m alien to either role.  However, my wife gets all the kudos for being the at-home Mom.

You probably think “bringing home the bacon” is just a simple matter of earning your regular paycheck.  In some lucky cases, that is the case, and to those lucky few, I will say “Congratulations”… but it’s rarely that simple.

As you know, having a new baby is VERY EXPENSIVE!  What you don’t know is how expensive it will be until you’re in the middle of it and find yourself needing money!  If you find the opportunity, then you’ll probably be opting for as much OT as you can muster.  Plus, what about those who are working without benefits?  Now that you have a child, you ARE going to need medical coverage… so it’d be time to start looking for a new job.

Then, after your work day is finally finished, you’ll go home to find your spouse is eager to hand off the child to you so that they can take a nap, bathe, eat a meal, or anything else that they haven’t done properly in a while.  You won’t get any thanks for it, so don’t seek any… because in your spouse’s eyes, you’ve been “relaxing at work all day”.

The memory of one evening always sticks out in my mind.  Storytime!!!

I’d just finished a long work day, and came home to find my wife and mother-in-law in the family room playing with my daughter.  (My mother-in-law had only been there about 10 minutes, so my bride had been handling the kid all day.)  I was tired after my long day, but my wife looked downright exhausted… so I decided to make dinner.

First, I wanted to dig through the piles of mail that had stacked up over the last few days.  I policed the junk mail, sorted out my wife’s mail, and wrote some checks to pay the bills.

Next, since the dishes were deep in the sink (and covering the stove), I decided that the kitchen needed to be cleaned a bit before starting dinner.  So I scrubbed some pots down, loaded the dishwasher, and started it.

Then, I finally started dinner.  I started some pasta to boiling, and tore open some pre-made garlic bread from the freezer.  I prepared the meal, set the table, and served.  It wasn’t fancy, but it got the job done.

After pulling the high-chair over to the table and sprinkling the tray with Cheerios for my daughter, I called my wife and mother-in-law over to eat.  As we started, I informed my bride that after dinner it was my intention to have a quick shower and a change of clothes before taking the child off her hands for a while.

My wife exploded!  My loving bride (who was very tired and not thinking straight) proceeded to yell at me about “how little I do around the house” and how I “need to start helping her more”.  As I’d spent 9+ hours away at my job, but had so far only spent about 90 minutes at home helping out… she had decided that I wasn’t doing enough, and unloaded a big pile of CRAZY all over me.  (My mother-in-law was quiet throughout the proceedings as she didn’t want to get in the middle of it, but she was kind enough to point out my efforts to my wife later… after she’d calmed down, rested, and returned to a somewhat sane state of mind.)

Like I said, don’t look for thanks for the efforts you put forth once you get home, because you won’t get any.

Sleep

Regardless of which parent you are, you’ll find that sleep is a rare luxury.  People without kids seem to think that babies spend most of their time sleeping.  Well, that’s true… most babies do tend to sleep about 16 to 18 hours a day, but they probably only do it in two-hour increments… and you’ve got to be there for them when they’re not sleeping.  Forget about getting a “Solid-8” hours of sleep, because it’s not going to happen for quite a while.

The best advice that I can offer is to try to come up with an alternating watch schedule.  Whenever I came home from work, we would immediately set to eating dinner… and afterwards, my wife would retire to the bedroom to sleep.  For months, my bride had no conception of what was on TV during the Prime Time hours… because she was asleep by that time.

Then, at some point around 1am, I would trade off with her… so that I could get some sleep before going to work the next morning.

That’s why finding the opportunity to go out with friends isn’t as simple as “letting the spouse watch the kid”… when you’re not watching the kid, you’re eager just to get some rest!

Love

An old pal (who obviously had no children) once tried to compare the love I have for my daughters with the love he had for his dog.  In his mind, it was the same thing because he loved spending time with his dog, playing with it, etc.  He just didn’t understand what the difference would be.  So I finally explained it to him by asking…

If someone held a gun to your dog’s head and threatened to kill it… would you offer up your life in exchange so that your dog could go on living?

No?!  That’s the difference.

You may love your dog… but parents don’t just love their children.  They “fall in love” with them.  Remember when you were in high school and you’d become infatuated with someone… and you’d get that excited feeling at the thought of spending time with them?  Parents tend to get that same feeling about spending time with their kids.  We want to rush home to spend time with them.  We may be obligated to do so, but it’s an obligation that we welcome.

Reconnecting

So why don’t people reconnect later?  Well, some do… but in my case, it’s difficult.  I’ve found many phone numbers disconnected, and several emails unanswered.  For all I know, some of my old friends could have moved, changed jobs,… or even died.

If a phone call or email doesn’t seem to be working, then my advice is to try Facebook to reconnect.  You can send notes to the old pals, and even find friends who might have slipped your mind (but don’t tell them that).  And if they don’t respond, then check their profiles for activity since you’re last attempt.  If they’ve been on numerous times since your message was went, then you could probably guess that they have no desire to reconnect with you… and you can put your efforts into someone else.

The best advice I can offer is… if an old friend who recently had kids reaches out to you, don’t be petty about their lack of communications.  They’re making an effort… more of an effort than they could have before… so don’t leave them hanging.

And remember… this door swings both ways.  If you haven’t heard from your friend since they had a kid, then you’re just as responsible for that lack of communication as they are.

To Claudia,

All my love… Zod

Anyway, Anna is now working for some manufacturing company over in MD.  She’s a good egg, but she tends to be a strictly paint-by-number kind of technician.  What I mean is that if it’s not obvious and right in front of her face, then she gets frustrated and immediately asks someone to help her.  I don’t say that to be cruel… it’s just her way, and she admits to it.

So her company had acquired some second-hand Cisco routers, and shipped them to a new site that they’re soon to be opening.  She had been instructed her to wipe them back to their factory defaults in preparation for the arrival of a network consultant next week.  Why the network guy couldn’t do this job when he arrives still escapes me.

Always willing to lend a hand, I emailed Anna a link to the instructions from Cisco’s website.  What I didn’t think about was that there are 2 different methods listed on this page.  About 10 minutes later, I get another call from Anna asking me which to use.  It’s her first time doing such a task, so she’s a bit apprehensive.  (No problem… the first time I blew away a router, I was a little nervous as well.)

In case you’re curious, we used Method #1.

Now luckily, Anna did have the login passwords for the routers, so we didn’t have to go through all that bother.  Once she got the machine powered on and consoled in via HyperTerminal, I talked her through it as follows…

1. After you login to the router, go to enable mode by typing ENABLE and entering the appropriate password.
2. Type CONFIG TERM to enter global configuration mode.
3. Now you want to instruct the router to bypass it’s stored startup configuration during it’s next reboot.  This is done by typing
   CONFIG-REGISTER 0×2102
   
4. Type END
   
5. Now erase the current startup configuration on the router by typing WRITE ERASE
   
6. Now we need to reboot the router.  Type RELOAD, and answer NO when prompted to save the modified configuration.
7. The router will reboot itself, and display all it’s business like text.  Upon completion, you will be rewarded by a message that should read something similar to:

   — System Configuration Dialog —
   Would you like to enter the initial configuration dialog? [yes/no]:
   Congratulations.  Your router is now back to it’s original factory defaults.

8. If you are not a network administrator, then just do what I told Anna to do… and turn the router off cold now.